Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Grief is the price we pay

for love.  --Queen Elizabeth II

I was telling Rob the other day about how before his mom and grandpa died, the closest family I'd lost was my Grandpa Melka.  He died when I was still in middle school.  I went to my grandma and grandpa's house every day after school from third grade to eighth grade, so I have a lot of memories of him.  I remember going on bike rides all the time and I remember him coming up behind me when I was sitting on the swivel-y chairs in the kitchen and rubbing my shoulders--rubbing hard!  I remember him taking naps in his La-Z-Boy while Grandma and I watched Days and ate cheese and crackers.  I can only remember the sound of his voice though when I think of conversations between him and my dad because then I can hear both of their very distinct voices in my head.

With Julie and Paul though, I suppose since I am older and I suppose since the memories are so recent, I remember things we did with them as well as what they would say or do in certain situations.....as though we just talked with them yesterday.  I remember exactly the sound of Julie's voice when Rob would call home on speaker phone.....same routine every time.....she would say Hello? Rob would say Hi Mom and Julie would say Oh hi Rob!  Every time.  Oh hi Rob!  Doesn't seem like that big of a deal until you know you'll never hear it again.

Rob's mom would be so proud of him and the great job he is doing being a dad.  It is heartbreaking that she is not here for this exciting time in our lives.  Even as we all still grieve, I know great things about Julie will come through to Mace from Rob, Mart, and Donna, and Mace will definitely know all about his grandma Julie.

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