Sunday, August 12, 2012

Happy Birthday Mom

If my mother were still alive she would be 63 years old today.  We all thought she would have the surgery and come home.  She beat cancer against the odds and was at one of the best hospitals in the world. If anything she would have felt better than she had the last few years.   In the end her body couldn't carry on despite the best efforts of my dad, the doctors/nurses, and my mom.  I could go on and on about fairness, sadness, and regret, but my thoughts always end up back at one place.  Mace will never meet his grandma Julie.  I've been blessed with two wonderful grandmothers (Barbara and Donna) who only ever showed me kindness and love. I have so many memorable experiences spending time with my late grandpa Paul.   I have no doubt my mom would have treated Mace the exact same way and given him some wonderful memories.

It’s far too hard to dwell on the whys and what could have been.  In those moments I try to picture my mom in her happiest times.  Maybe she is sitting at the Polynesian thumbing through her note cards one last time before we set off to the Disney parks.

Or maybe she is sitting outside enjoying the view and cool breeze from the deck at Maison Fleurie in Yountville.

In the end all we can do is keep strong and carry on.  Mace will be loved by the rest of us and never know what might have been.

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