Tuesday, May 06, 2014

A quick airplane story

I do have a bunch more pictures and stories from our California trip that I'd sure like to get around to posting, but first, one quick tale about one long flight.

Have you ever seen a special on crocodiles?  Like National Geographic or Planet Earth?  Crocodiles are sneaky and stealthy and strong and scary.  They get a hold of things like gazelles and zebras and just swallow them whole I think.  They are quiet quiet quiet and then WHOOSH they snatch their prey.  And the gazelles thrash and splash and kick and scream and try to get away.  But the crocodiles always win.

Now I'm not saying that sitting with a nearly-two-year-old, who has just been woken up by TSA twelve minutes into his nap, on your lap, on a two and a half hour flight is exactly like being a gazelle trying to wrestle a crocodile but yesIam.  Mace ate me ALIVE.

The last 45 minutes on the flight from LA to Denver was a nightmare.  Which was especially sad since Mace has always been a great little traveler.  He kept screaming, I mean SCREAMING OUT!  OUUUTT! and bawling and squirming and kicking and it was overall just about the most unpleasant and humiliating 45 minutes of my life.  I mean what do you do.  It was just torturous.  I had one of my legs halfway wrapped around his to try to keep him sitting on my lap and my arms wrapped around him like.....a straitjacket?  Yikes.  I'm sure the nice Indian man sitting next to me wished so badly he hadn't paid extra for the stretch-extra-leg-room seating because being squished in the back would be waaaaayy better than being subjected to this torment.

When the plane stopped, Mace stopped.  He finally let me cuddle him and he just sniffled.  I was in tears by that point too and it was just icing on the cake when I had to stand outside the plane door and wait for our stroller.  Public humiliation at its fine fine finest.  Me and Mace standing there with red, teary, snotty faces and everyone who had been forced to listen to this screaming mess shooting daggers our way--or, OR!--the quick glare-glance-and-then-walk-by-staring-straight-ahead (the latter of which I truly appreciated).  And there were a few women who gave that knowing look like beeeeeeen there.  And then they scampered off to buy their now well-behaved children ice cream.  Because they know that tantrums actually are contagious.

There was this one nice woman who stopped and said all these nice things to me and patted both mine and Mace's backs and it was just horrible that she felt she needed to do that, yet the nicest thing that had ever happened to me all at once.

And now I want to take him somewhere else while he's still a cheap one-year-old!!  You want to book a flight with us??



  1. This experience is my worst nightmare, and the reason we have never flown with Parker yet. I'm sorry!

  2. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I can't imagine how horrible it must have been for the both of you.

  3. Anonymous9:25 PM

    Your description is amazing. While I haven't had this happen as we still haven't taken Henry on his first flight, I can only imagine. You poor thing. Poor, hilarious thing. :)

  4. oh no i'm so sorry! i know for people on the plane it can be unpleasant but i always want to believe that people try to put themselves in the mom's shoe for a second. it's hard and it's not like the mom and the child want to scream and cry and make a scene. not a lot of people, i bet, can make it out of that situation as you and mace have! :) xx

  5. Mace was so good on the flight to and from Boston. He must have been just too tired.

  6. Ha ha oh no! Poor mommy and poor mace!!

  7. Oh no! I am glad you survived! I hope you are doing well!